Monday, November 9, 2009

The Toddler Manifesto

As translated from the spoken Toddlerese of my eldest daughter Alexandra. For best results, read in ballad meter.


The Toddler Manifesto
by Michael Bahr

For I, Intrepid Toddler Girl,
Exploring all before me,
Shall stomp and flirt and bat my eyes
And make adults adore me.

I eat and drink and run and play
My folks will surely mention;
And all they need to give me is
Unlimited attention.

Upon my entrance to a room
I'll find where danger lurks,
I'll grab the cords and power strips
And learn how current works.

Or else I'll locate sticky things
And smear them on my face;
Or fragile objects I will sling
Across the empty space.

My words I'll choose for best effect
And babble every other;
A useful trick it is, to train
My father and my mother.

I understand the things they say
But still put up a fight;
I'll run full-speed at red-line 'til
It's time to say "Night-night!"

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